This may not be your case.  If you have not cheated him but have done something terribly wrong then read on, this could also help you.

You cheated on your boyfriend and he dumped you.  It was no surprise.  You would have done the same in his place.  The only problem is that you do not want to lose him.  You know that what you did was wrong and you are willing to do almost anything to get him back.  Here is what you should do:

1.  Accept responsibility.

Accept responsibility for the consequences of your mistakes.  Accept that what you did was a major no-no and in the end cost you the relationship.  This might be painful for you to consider but try to take into account the bigger pain he is trying to deal with.  Try to put yourself in his shoes, feel for him.  This will help you to be more genuinely remorseful about what you did and not just concerned with the loss of the relationship.

Certainly, the loss of the relationship is very painful to you too.  And I am not advocating you give up on your effort to get him back.   In this case, reflecting on your mistake will help you in your efforts to get him back by ensuring that your apology will be sincere and credible.

2.  Apologize to him.

There is simply no getting around this one.  You made a major mistake and a major apology must be made.  Make no excuses.  Simply own up to what you did.  Make sure you are sincere and the apology is heartfelt.

3.  Make things right.

Find out from him what steps you can take with make things right between you.  Decide whether the things he is asking for are doable and whether the relationship is indeed worth it.  Once you make a decision, stick to it and make a committed and honest effort to do the things he has asked for.

4.  Give him space if he needs it.

If he is not ready to forgive quite yet, accept it.  Keep the door open to communication but do not initiate it yourself.  Refrain from calling, messaging or emailing him.  He needs to mourn and think about where he wants to take the relationship.  He needs time to be alone and yes, maybe even start to miss you.

5.  Allow him to monitor your activities.

If he does forgive you, work at earning his trust back by being transparent about your activities.  Always provide information about where you are going, who you will be going with and what you will be doing.  You can even go so far as to allow him access to your mobile phone call list and messages, email and messenger accounts.  This might sound invasive but if you have nothing to hide it will go a long way to making him feel safe.  Once this happens, he will let up and give you a reasonable amount of privacy again.

6.  Make love to him.

By making love, I am not just referring to the sexual act.  That is of course that is very important to men but do not limit yourself to just that.  Make love in other ways too.  Be extra caring, extra loving, extra sensitive to his moods and needs.  You might just find that you have managed to replace the painful occurrence with beautiful new memories.

Filed under: cheating on boyfriend

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